Maintaining
by nataliespeaks
Summary: Edward and Bella have been together since they were 17. Now 33, Edward is a Hollywood actor, while Bella is his eye candy wife. When Edward makes the mistake of a lifetime, Bella has no choice but to file for divorce. With their two kids keeping them connected, how will Edward and Bella maintain a life without each other when they're constantly together?
1. Broken Family

First off, thank you for clicking on my story and reading it. :D Next, this is the beginning of their story, it kind of foreshadows into the past, and gives a little bit of background information on what lead to Edward and Bella's divorce. But not completely though. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or have rights to any of the characters. I just have a "special" imagination.

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**Bella**

Walking out of the courtroom today, I was forced to begin my life as a single woman for the first time in thirteen years. Not just a single woman, a single mother.

Divorce.

The word wouldn't process in my mind. Edward was supposed to be my everything, my reason for living. Now seeing our faces on the cover of tabloids everywhere I went, and my kids exploited for a cheap headline was sickening. This wasn't the life I wanted for myself—for my kids. I wanted out, and now that everything was finalized I was free. Free from crying, arguing, pain and heartache.

"Mrs. Swan?"

I barely reacted to my maiden name being spoken. The name that hadn't been my identity for 5 years had been given back to me. I looked up from the magazine that I was barely reading, and brought my attention the woman in front of me.

"Mommy!" Savannah squealed as she removed her hand from her teacher's, and ran towards me before slamming into my open arms.

I squeezed my little girl before pulling away and staring into her face. She _was_ Edward. Her copper hair, her pale and chiseled features. Her warm smile.

I looked at her and I felt hurt. Hurt that she and Masen would have to grow up in two different homes—two different families. I didn't want that for my children, but our situation called for it. Sav was too young to understand the intimacy of it all; she just knew Mommy and Daddy weren't together anymore.

_"But why?" Savannah asked Edward as he tried to explain what was happening, while I stood next to him, arms folded, eyes burning with dried tears._

_Because Daddy broke Mommy's heart, he destroyed everything._

_Edward stroked her hair, and ran his fingers across he tear stained cheeks._

_"Because—Daddy made a mistake, and he would do anything to change that, squirt." He kissed her forehead.  
_

_I started crying then. Because every single inch of me wanted to take him back. I wanted to forgive him, and I wanted us to be okay. I wanted the boxes in the living room with my name on them to disappear. I wanted all of this to end._

_"Mommy?" Savannah began, before releasing more tears of her own. "I want you to stay with Daddy! I don't want to leave! I don't want to hear fighting anymore!"_

_Edward shot me a remorseful look. Savannah had heard us arguing the other night. It broke my heart to see her like this._

_"Why Daddy? Why did you make a mistake?" She whimpered._

Why did you make a mistake?

**Edward**

I stopped at the front door, afraid to open it and what would greet me on the other side. Bella's car was in the garage, so that was a good sign, and the lights were on in the kids' rooms. Another good sign. I took a deep breath before turning the knob and pushing the door open.

I walked further into the foyer, only to be met with piles of suitcases by the stairs. My heart sank.

"Bella!" I called.

"Dad!" Masen ran down the stairs and slammed into my legs. "Dad! Mom's leaving, don't let her leave Dad!" My normally distant son hugged my legs, his tears staining my khaki pants. "Fix this!"

"Masen, go upstairs." Bella's stern voice rang through the seemingly empty house.

"But Mom—."

"Now Masen."

Masen gave me a pleading look before retreating up the stairs. Bella looked at me, her brown eyes bigger than usual. Mascara and tears stained her face, and I could smell the wine from where she was standing.

"I'll be up to tuck you in soon." Bella called after him, before turning to look at me.

"Bella—."

"Save it Edward." She retreated for the kitchen.

"Where are you going? Why are your bags packed?" I followed her.

"Oh haven't you heard?! It's all over the damn TV, and on all the goddamn magazine stands!" Bella threw her hands up in exasperation, before taking a sip of wine from the glass on the counter. "Edward Cullen, big hotshot cheats on wife—ruins family and marriage!" Tears were rolling down her cheeks in waterfalls. I had never seen her so broken.

"Bella, please just—."

"Do you have any idea of what it's like to be swarmed by paparazzi all day, and have them spew questions at you like some sort of fucking animal at the zoo?! Of course you do! Because you're Edward fucking Cullen. The man of all men. Perfection at its finest." She ranted, as she circled the island.

"Bella-," I began.

"You know I couldn't even pick up Savannah from school, because of all the damn photographers and reporters? I had to send your goddamn mother!"

"Bella I'm—I'm sorry." It's all I could say. I had no excuse for anything. I wished none of it had happened.

"Sorry? Oh okay Edward that makes everything perfect and fine and dandy." She rolled her eyes. "What do you think this is, some sort of game?! Do you think I'm seventeen again, and when you say you're sorry, I'll forgive you and fall right back into those arms of yours and everything will be okay? No. Not this time Edward." She shoved papers at me, before taking another swig of wine.

"Baby, you're drunk. We should talk about this, while you're sober." I reached to take the glass from her. She snatched away from me.

"How could you do this to me? Do you give two shits about us? Your kids?"

"Baby, I love you. And you know I'd run to the ends of the earth and back for Savannah and Masen! I-I just-I made a mistake."

"Yeah? Well I'm done with mine." She took the last sip of her wine, and left the kitchen. Leaving me alone with the papers she left on the counter. I picked up the one on top, and read the first three words.

_Complaint for Divorce._

My heart dropped. This was my fault. I broke my family.

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**Note:** Edward's POV does not take place at the same time as Bella's. Bella's is obviously after the divorce had been finalized. Hope that wasn't too confusing. ;P I know it wasn't the most interesting, but I promise, if you're a romantic like me, this will really go somewhere. Hope you enjoyed it. Until the next chapter.

Natalie


	2. Adjusted

**A/N: I just want to say thank you for the positive feedback I received for the first chapter. I'm so excited to continue this. Also I got a review about the first chapter being a little confusing, so I took that into consideration for future chapters. Enjoy.  
**

**As always, I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does.  
**

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**One Year Later**

"Mommy? Are we almost to Daddy's house? I wanna show him my toof!" Savannah squealed from the backseat.

"Yes baby girl, we're almost there." I smiled at my 5 year old and her mispronunciation of tooth. She flashed me a toothless grin before returning to her coloring book.

I glanced at Masen through the rearview mirror, who hadn't said a word during the 15 minutes we had been driving.

"Masen?" I asked.

He looked at me, and then turned his attention back to the window.

"Yeah?" he muttered, his fist resting over his mouth.

"Why the long face?"

"You know why I'm upset Mom, you can quit acting like I don't understand all of this. I'm not Savannah."

I sighed. "Baby—."

"I don't see why we have to spend Christmas with _him_!" Masen interrupted, leaning out of his seat, throwing his arms up in frustration.

"Masen you said you were old enough to understand the situation, so you know the agreement. And baby, he's your father."

"He ruined everything Mom! Grandpa Charlie was supposed to take me hunting this Christmas, how am I supposed to do that in California with Dad?!"

"Maybe your father will take you hunting." I smiled, hopefully. Surprisingly, hunting was one thing Edward and my father bonded over. Edward loved to hunt.

"Whatever." Masen slumped back into his seat, and continued staring out of the window.

I sighed, knowing we were getting nowhere with this conversation. Masen wasn't at all excited about the fact that he had to spend Christmas with Edward. But I had them last Christmas and to my dismay, the custody agreement we both signed agreed to alternate holidays. Masen was intelligent beyond his years—as was his father. He understood everything.

10 minutes later we were pulling into the security gate, and up Edward's one hundred foot driveway. Since the divorce he had downsized, but not by much. The 4-storey mansion he had moved into was still pretty impressive. Edward's house was lined with wreaths, and fake ornaments. Something I know he hadn't done himself. He was terrible at trimming the tree, let alone putting wreaths on a 4-storey building.

"We're here!" Savannah shouted.

I smiled at my little girl's excitement and wished I'd be there to see her open the countless presents I'm sure Edward got for her on Christmas.

"Alright baby girl, hold on for a second, I'm coming." I laughed as Savannah tried to jump out of her car seat.

"Do you think the tooth fairy knows how to get here Mommy? I've never lost a tooth at Daddy's house before." Savannah asked as I picked her up and placed her on the ground. "What if she can't find me?"

"Of course baby girl. The tooth fairy knows wherever you are, just like Santa. Where there's a tooth, she's sure to be." I tapped her nose with my finger, before she giggled, and began jumping up and down. Before reaching in the car and grabbing her ladybug pillow pet from the car seat.

"Masen, come on honey." I motioned for him to get out of the car. He rolled his eyes, threw off his seatbelt and got out of the car, slamming the door in the process. I glared at him.

"Sorry." He grimaced.

I smiled, and winked at him. "Let's go."

He huffed before following Savannah and I up the drive.

"I wanna ring it!" Savannah jumped to reach the doorbell that was purposely high enough so Savannah couldn't reach it. She had a habit of obnoxiously ringing doorbells.

Masen grinned before picking her up, and positioning her right in front of it. Savannah pressed the bell, and we waited as it chimed throughout the house.

Seconds later the door swung open, and there stood Edward, smiling from ear to ear. His always messy hair was in its usual disarray. His dark blue jeans hung low on his waist, and his white Polo shirt clung to his muscles. He was a catch. He always was.

"Squirt!" Edward grinned.

"Dude!" Savannah shouted, before slamming into her father's chest. He laughed, and hugged her tightly, before kissing her forehead, then looking up at Masen.

"Hey sport." Edward smiled.

"I'm twelve years old Dad, you can stop calling me that now." Masen shoved past Edward and into the house.

I sighed at my son, and Edward looked up at me.

"Still upset, huh?"

"Unfortunately." I smiled.

He nodded, and widened the door, so I could step inside.

"Daddy! Where's Tanya? I wanna show her my tooth!"

"She's upstairs baby girl." Edward stroked her hair, before Savannah took off up the stairs yelling Tanya's name, leaving Edward and I alone in the foyer.

"Their bags are in the car."

"Garrett will get them." Edward replied.

"Ah, I forgot. You hired a butler." I smiled. "Hire a nanny too?"

"I did, but she has the holiday off." He grinned.

"I noticed your decorations." I pointed to the door.

"You know I didn't do them myself." He smiled sheepishly.

"Of course not." I laughed. "You remember when you tried to put the star on our tree, and knocked it over?"

He laughed. "How could I forget? My first Christmas at the Swan's. Charlie was so pissed." He shook his head, before our laughter died down, leaving us in an awkward silence.

"So is that everything?" Edward asked.

"Yeah I guess. Um, just make sure not to give Sav too much money. I know back when we were married, you wanted to give her $100 per tooth, but a five year old doesn't know what to do with that much money. A dollar is fine."

"Okay—."

"And make sure that when you give her a bath, that you use the "no tears" baby shampoo, she's not used to the other stuff yet."

"Alright and—."

"And try to spend some time with Masen. He's really upset he doesn't get to go hunting with Charlie, and I want him to be as comfortable as possible. And—."

"Bella," He interrupted, "you do this every time you drop them off. They're my kids too. I think I can handle it."

"Right, sorry." I chewed my bottom lip. "Well how—how've you been?"

"Fine—you know the usual. I'm working on a pretty big project right now actually." He began, running his fingers through his hair—a mannerism he had always had.

"Oh right, Savannah screams every time she sees "Daddy" on TV." I smiled. "She misses you, you know. All the time. Masen does too." _So do I._

He frowned, and stared out of the window, leaving us in yet another silence. "Bella I—."

"So, do you have anything planned for Christmas?" I interrupted to lighten the mood and change the subject.

He hesitated before continuing. "Not much, Carlisle and Esme are coming over of course. Along with Alice and Jazz, but you know, nothing out of what _we_ used to do." He shrugged.

"Except, this year you'll have the kids." I grinned awkwardly.

"Yeah, Mom's really excited about all that." He trailed off. "Look Bells—I know it's gonna be tough without them in Forks but—,"

"I'm fine." I interrupted. "Just—make sure they call me every day okay? And on Christmas. Mom, Emmett and Charlie are going to want to hear from them."

He nodded. "Don't worry, I'm sure Masen's going to call you every day and complain about how much he hates it here."

We laughed together.

"Hi Bella." Tanya walked into the room.

"Hey T." I smiled, before she enveloped me in a hug.

"Edward, you have two meetings tomorrow, and I made sure to tell Alec you wanted the rest of the holiday off to spend with the Rugrats."

"Thank you Tanya." Edward smiled, before looking at me, noticing the incredulous look on my face. "Yes Bella, I took the holiday off. Don't look so surprised." He joked.

"I'm—I'm not—you know it's just—with the whole movie thing I figured—ah, I'm just gonna shut up now." I let out an awkward and defeated sigh.

Tanya laughed, before patting my shoulder. "It's alright Bells, I was shocked too." She shook her head before leaving the room.

"Alright well I better get going. I have an early flight tomorrow so—." I trailed off.

"Okay." Edward smiled before leading me to the main hallway. "Savannah, Masen?! Come say bye to your mother!" Edward called up the stairs.

The sound of feet pounding resonated through the house.

"Bye Mommy!" Savannah barreled down the stairs, and into my arms. Masen followed slowly down the stairs, and stood at the bottom.

"Tell Grandma NeNe I said hello. And make sure you give her and Grandpa my presents." Savannah demanded. "And give Emmalie a kiss for me!" She spoke of her cousin. "Tell Rose I miss her, and Uncle Em that he's a poop!"

I giggled. Savannah and Emmett had always had a playful feud going on, ever since Savannah threw up on him on her 2nd birthday.

"I will sweetheart." I kissed my daughter on her forehead, and then looked up at Masen.

I arched my eyebrow at my son. "Well?"

He rolled his eyes and smiled, before walking over to me and giving me a hug.

"Bye Mom." He muttered.

"Try to be good for your Dad okay?" I tapped his chin.

He smiled at me, and nodded before walking back up the stairs, ignoring his father's smile.

I sighed and headed for the door.

"Bella?" Edward called after me. "Wait up for a second."

I met him at the door, and he stepped outside, closing it behind him.

He pulled an envelope from his back pocket.

"What's this?"

"An early Christmas present." He smiled.

I hadn't gotten Edward anything for Christmas. I ting of hope spread through my stomach. "Oh." A smile began to creep up my face.

"The child support for the next month." He added. "I figured instead of sending it, I'd just give it to you now."

I frowned. "Oh." I replied, a slightly less excited tone. "Thank you."

He nodded, and stepped back inside. "Merry Christmas Bella." He smiled.

"Merry Christmas Edward." I nodded and turned around.

As I walked back to my car, I couldn't help but to think about how much had changed in the past year. This is my first Christmas since I was seventeen without Edward. The first Christmas without my kids, since they had been born. My first Christmas without my family—Carlisle, Esme, Alice. My first Christmas with my family back home, and I had never felt more alone. A part of me knew this is what I wanted. I wanted a life without cameras, and publicity, and my face on magazines. But another part of me didn't care, because that life was with Edward.

I shook my head and continued driving, ready to begin a non-stressful holiday. Somehow I knew that wasn't going to happen.

**Edward**

I sighed, closing the door. This whole situation felt so wrong. Christmas was about family—about being together, and now it was all spiraling downhill. We had fallen into a routine that was tolerable, but inside I was dying.

I regret ever letting Bella leave. The night I came home after what happened went public, I was so defeated. Listening to Bella's heart breaking sobs and accusations put me in a hole. I knew couldn't stop her, so I didn't try. I let her go. I let everything go.

"Still tough, huh?" Tanya asked behind me.

I turned around. "What?"

"Watching her go." She replied.

"Why are we talking about this Tanya?" I brushed past her. I hated when she was right, but I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

She shook her head, following me. "This is why she got away in the first place. You shut her out. You didn't fight for her."

"You don't know a damn thing Tanya." I spun around to face her. "Bella and I argued for weeks. I begged her to stay—begged her to forgive me. You know that."

"_What's this?" I raced after Bella._

"_What do they look like Edward? Divorce papers!" _

_I followed her into our bedroom. _

"_What do you mean divorce? You—you can't. After 13 years of being together you're going to throw all of it away?" _

_Bella glared at me with such anger, I had never seen on her delicate face. _

"_Don't you dare pinpoint this on me Edward Anthony Cullen. You did this! You threw this all away!" _

"_Baby please—we can work through this." I walked up to her, taking her hands in mine. "Please." I begged. "I can't—I can't live without you or Savannah or Masen. Please. Just let me—give me some time to explain."_

_Her demeanor softened a bit as she looked into my eyes. "Why, Edward? Am I not good enough for you?" her voice broke at the end. _

_I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her the truth. That her question was so far from untrue as you could possibly get. That I needed her—wanted her more than anything. That I just lost control and couldn't think. I couldn't. I couldn't bear to break her heart again. _

"_It was a mistake Bella. I love you more than my own existence, I just—I wasn't thinking clearly." _

_She shook her head and dropped her arms. "You broke my heart." She whispered. "I can't—can't do this. This life—it isn't for me. I'm sick of the paparazzi, and the cameras, and the magazines—I just can't be in this life anymore." _

"_Bella—." I didn't recognize my voice. The evident agony was so strong. _

"_I'm sorry. The court date is next week." _

I fought for her. Just not hard enough.

"Daddy!" Savannah ran towards me, breaking my thoughts.

"Yeah Princess?" I asked, scooping her up into my arms.

"Can I show you my toof now? I lost it a whole two days ago." She flashed her smile, showing the hole where her tooth had once been. "We gotsa put it in a real good place under my pillow, or the tooth fairy won't be able to get it."

"That's true baby doll. Come on, let's go see where we can place it." I kissed her forehead.

"Tanya, can you see about getting a pizza ordered?!" I called through the house, knowing she'd hear me wherever she was.

I headed up the stairs with my baby girl in my arms. Through the whole divorce process and mediation, I was happy about one decision. That Bella allowed me to still see and father my children. I couldn't live without these two.

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**A/N: So I hope I updated quickly enough for you. I hope this chapter gave you a little more insight on how Bella and Edward feel about the divorce as a whole. What Edward did (whether he cheated or not) is still a mystery, and will unveil later on in the story, you have my word. You'll also find out why he's being so cryptic about it. Is he lying? Was it all a stunt? Hmm... until then, keep wondering. (; The next chapter? Christmas with the Cullens! So you get a whole chapter of Edward's POV. Thanks for reading guys! I still kinda suck at writing, but I'm getting better as I go, _I think_. See you in a few days. **

**Natalie**


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